shitroughdrafts:

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, opening voice over. Created by Dick Wolf.
Pre-order the Shit Rough Drafts book here!

shitroughdrafts:

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, opening voice over. Created by Dick Wolf.

Pre-order the Shit Rough Drafts book here!

2,653 notes

I wrote this on Facebook but thought I’d keep it; might make a nice monologue for something.

I wrote this on Facebook but thought I’d keep it; might make a nice monologue for something.

shitroughdrafts:

The Godfather, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. 1972.
Pre-order the Shit Rough Drafts book here!

shitroughdrafts:

The Godfather, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. 1972.

Pre-order the Shit Rough Drafts book here!

(via shitroughdrafts)

952 notes

FAWM.ORG / A Scandal!

Hey dudes, I said I was writing songs from that fake Decemberists album libbyfinch made up and I wasn’t fucking lying.

5 notes

http://jamesurbaniak.tumblr.com/post/75397090225/years-ago-sometime-in-the-late-90s-i-auditioned

jamesurbaniak:

Years ago, sometime in the late ’90s, I auditioned for a one-act play in NY. It was a light comedy about a playwright who had a troll who lived in his closet who wrote his plays for him. My audition for the role of the the troll went very well. I thought the character suited my strengths; I took…

993 notes

motherfuckinoedipus:


saxypone:

fuchsiamae:

dextronoms:

bitches-im-balin:

bigbigtruck:

krudman:

I love this

"you come here often?" "DWARVEN CRAAAFTS"

"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"
"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"

"hey let me buy you a drin-"
"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"

"hey gorgeous-"
"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"

"hey beauti-""SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"

”are you an angel becau-”
”Talos the Mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.”  Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!”


"Hey sexy, can I—"

"GO FOR THE EYES, BOO, GO FOR THE EYES! YEEAAARRRGH!"

motherfuckinoedipus:

saxypone:

fuchsiamae:

dextronoms:

bitches-im-balin:

bigbigtruck:

krudman:

I love this

"you come here often?"
"DWARVEN CRAAAFTS"

"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"

"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"

"hey let me buy you a drin-"

"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"

"hey gorgeous-"

"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"

"hey beauti-"

"SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"

”are you an angel becau-”

”Talos the Mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.”  Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!”

"Hey sexy, can I—"

"GO FOR THE EYES, BOO, GO FOR THE EYES! YEEAAARRRGH!"

(Source: spookysage, via eeshtar)

145,722 notes

eeshtar:

libbyfinch:

Woah! Check it out! 

Another Folky Album!

The NEW ALBUM FROM THE DECEMBERISTS! 

Featuring the NEW HIT SINGLES World War One was Rad and Whimpers of the Heartbroken.

SO MANY FEELINGS! LOST LOVE! SO TRAGIC!

JOSH BELVILLE

FIRST OFF, THIS HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE!

I present Under the Muck, the parody album written and recorded by myself, released in 2005. (with the exception of two songs, “Ouch, I Rankled My Ankle” and “Last Night I Dreamt I Was Morrissey,” which were written by /orate forum member Mark Spittle.)

SECOND OFF, I think I have found my project for FAWM.org.

233 notes

Started using Duolingo again.

Started using Duolingo again.

0 notes

281,955 Plays

marielikestodraw:

brotherstories:

"Five Hundred Miles"- Justin Timberlake, Carey Mulligan & Stark Sands

My dear friends. I’m not quite sure how something as beautiful and unexpected as this soundtrack has slipped below my music radar. I never would have guessed that Mr. J.T. himself could throw himself into the bohemian folk era so effortlessly.

I keep on cackling forever when people say that Justin has no talent, and that he’s just a crappy pop star, he’s fucking brilliant and I will defend it forever, CASE IN POINT.
I can’t wait to see the movie omg.

JT is from Memphis, he better know how to rock a folk song.

Also this is beautiful but I was still disappointed that it wasn’t a folky cover of the Proclaimers song.

(via gingerhaze)

25,898 notes

5,443 Plays

solaceinsunlight:

asnieres:

Sister Winter » Sufjan Stevens

this feels SO perfect right now.

Probably one of the best songs he’s ever done.

(I also recorded a not nearly as good cover of this song a long time ago, on my Christmas album, which is free on Bandcamp if you so choose to align yourself with extremely lo-fi Christmas songs.)

(via valerie2776)

750 notes